Eat Horror
Train poster


Released - 2008
Genre - Horror, Thriller
Director - Gideon Raff
Starring - Thora Birch, Gideon Emery, Kavan Reece, Gloria Votsis, Derek Magyar, Todd Jensen, Valentin Ganev

A bunch of American teen wrestlers get on the wrong train in Russia and fall foul of an organ harvesting operation. That description makes it sound a lot better than it is. Writer and director Gideon Raff is clearly an angry child of the Cold War because this has to be the most negative portrayal of Russian people you can imagine. Every single one of them is happy to turn a blind eye to mutilation and murder because they are all corrupt, sleazy, deviant, murderous or a combination of all. Combine some of the most fantastically retarded writing ever with a heavy smattering of gratuitous torture porn violence, a cast of astoundingly unlikeable characters and a complete lack of skilful direction and you've got Train. An offensively, honkingly bad waste of space that will make you grind your teeth in frustration as you struggle to sit through it. Thora Birch can surely do a lot better than this?

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